What If Mama Aint Happy?

I’ve heard it said that the woman controls the pace and attitude of the home.  How about you, have you heard this?  To be honest, I didn’t think it was true. How could my decisions and attitude control how my family acts? Some of my friends have even done some testing to see; their reports seem to agree with this statement.  Apparently, when we are happy and joyful, that passes along to others in the home.  That’s some awesome power!

I’m reminded of the saying, “If mama aint happy, aint nobody happy”  There must obviously be something to this thought, because that saying has been around for as long as I can remember.  There are even songs written with this title,  about this very subject.  So here’s my question…..Why is this so hard?

If you’re a wife and mother what makes you happy? My first reaction is to answer, “I’m happy, when they’re happy”, but that’s not necessarily so.  For example, my children are perfectly content, you might even say happy, with a disaster in their rooms, but that definitely does not make me happy.  In fact, I am usually complaining and ordering a cleaning spree, which doesn’t go over well with them.    Wait, they are not happy, because I am not happy,…..so the answer is obvious, if they kept their room clean, then I would be happy, and in turn, they would be happy, because I wouldn’t be complaining at them.    Besides that being a crazy sentence, I think it’s a crazy cycle, everyone depending on the other to be happy? That can’t be right.

So what’s the answer?   I believe happiness is an inside job.  It comes from making a choice to be happy, looking at the good circumstances in your life. Not dwelling on the not so good circumstances.  I have found that it helps me to make a gratitude list.  I look at it often, and add to it periodically, God is always blessing me with little gifts.   I’ve even been able to add a few bad circumstances to my gratitude list, as they have helped me to grow, changed my attitude, and helped me to appreciate more. 

For me the answer is not in the circumstances around me, it’s in the circumstances within me. It’s in taking the time to sit with and listen to Jesus; to do some work on myself or better yet allow Jesus to do some work on me.   If I don’t make a conscious effort to find joy in the little things and be happy in all my circumstances, I find myself crabby and dissatisfied.  And you know what that means….my family will be crabby and dissatisfied.

Do you notice a difference in your family when you’re crabby and dissatisfied?

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