It’s the new year and a new beginning…Is is possible to NOT be ready for for the new year, but be ready for something new? I think I’ve discovered I like new beginnings or clean slates and right now I’m ready for a new beginning with some fresh clear ideas. I really hate resolutions, I think they just set you up for feeling like a failure. I’m struggling with my feelings enough these days so feeling bad about some big idea to loose weight, eat healthy or stay organized is just not an option. It’s a disappointment just waiting to happen!
December 2019 is finally over…
In early December two members of my family were tragically killed in a car accident. It was awful. You’re just not ready for something like that. It knocks you off your feet. The despair is so deep and it is not only for your loss, but also for the pain of the other ones you love who are left behind. Each relationship experiences a different feeling of loss and you are fully aware of everyone’s pain. It’s multi-faceted and hits you when you least expect it; sometimes I just wanted to crawl in a corner and cry. Unfortunately the normal feelings of grief are compounded when it’s Christmastime. It’s Christmas, you’re supposed to be in a celebratory mood, enjoying the season and all the festive events, but you just can’t get there. You want to be merry, you really do, but the fact is, it’s so much easier to cry than be merry. To be honest, I’ve felt a little inadequate with no words of inspiration and I’m a little glad the season is over.
New year rolled around
I was trying to get into the new year, with a spirit of a new beginning but I was sad. I needed something. I was praying and going through the motions putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. My new Christian planner suggested choosing a bible verse for the year as a sort of life goal. A bible verse as a life goal…? Ok, I’m in! I pondered for a bit and finally chose John 15:4-5, Abide in me and I will abide in you. A branch cannot be fruitful if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot produce fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you abide in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” It attracted me because I sooo need Jesus, especially right now. I need to stay plugged in, attached and rooted to Him. I want to be fruitful, which means to have and develop good things and people in my life; to bloom, to share Jesus and develop disciples.
Then I came across a Facebook quiz that claimed to help you choose a “word of the year”. I thought, “this ought a be fun”. Everyone was talking about their word of the year! I took the quize twice. Yes, I said twice. Facebook quizzes are silly and sometimes the answer choices aren’t even a good representation of what you’d choose, so I took it twice, once with one set of answers and the second time with another set. It was just for fun but then came the words of the year; ABIDE and STAND! Well OK then…I love it when God confirms things for me. Those words exactly coordinate with the verse I chose.
So, it’s settled, I’m hanging out with Jesus this year! I’m going to abide, remain in, dwell on, stand in the presence of Him; the one who knows just what I need. Any way you name it, I know where I belong, plugged in to Jesus.
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