I’ve been working on revamping my bathroom, updating it a little and bringing it into my style, I’ll share a little about that later, but I found this cute little sign at Hobby Lobby and thought it was perfect for the new shelf in there. I really love it because it reminds me that I do have the happily ever after. But this little sign has really got me thinking. Thinking about the misconception of “the happily every after”.
A couple of years ago, I attended a wedding shower where one of the activities was to share a bit of advice or encouragement about marriage with the bride to be. Well, you know you want to write something profound, right? The only thing that I could think of was ….”It’s one of he hardest things you’ll do!” Not great advice right? WRONG! I did end up writing a softer version of that thought on the card because as I began to think about it, I realized, THAT was something profound…because it is hard work and the fairytale of the wedding day and honeymoon does wear off. I think that if you know that in advance hopefully you’re a bit more prepared.
Today I realize that the “and they lived happily every after” is something other than the fairytale. And I think it’s better. We’ve gone through ups and downs, happy and sad times but if someone would have told me prior to marrying, I would go through all the “junk” I think (or hope) I would have been a bit more prepared. I still would have married because we thought we could tackle the world together. An unrealistic expectation of the “happily ever after” and therefore….at times I was disappointed.
As I grew up, I realized that the journey of a marriage is one of the keys to the happiness. If you can look at it like a journey where the two of you grow (and ps..you grow when times are tough) you will start to understand that you can make it. It’s possible that like me you will look back over the years, and think “this is what happily ever after really is”
Over the next couple of days I thought I’d examine 5 insights about marriage… based on my experience of course.
1. Don’t compare your marriage to other marriages – Every marriage is different, when we do this we are comparing the outside of other marriages (what we can see with our eyes) to the inside of ours (what we know, the reality). That is very dangerous because what you see could be a facade; you know… superficial and not real. I made this mistake once. Instead of appreciating my hubby for who he was, I wished I had a marriage like a friend’s. and that I had a husband who treated me like her husband treated her. It was revealed not long after, that the hubby in this marriage was having an affair and that marriage ended in divorce. I learned a big lesson while I was comforting this friend, whose life (and her 2 children’s life) was blown to bits. It is obvious that I don’t know what is good for me. I remember being very thankful that I didn’t get what I wished for and after that I learned that you can’t judge a marriage by the outside and that you should never compare your marriage to other marriages, unless it inspires YOU to be a better husband or wife.
Have you done this too? Are there areas of your marriage that are good that you can focus on, instead of the not so good areas? My suggestion…make a gratitude list of the things you are thankful for because it helps to keep in mind the qualities you loved when you married.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. Philipians 4:8
Hope you have a great day, stop back by tomorrow for number two.