My Love Hate Relationship

I have a love hate relationship….with social media….namely Facebook! I know people who “don’t do Facebook”, for many reasons, but I’m not one of them. Social media can be utilized as a good tool especially for a blog or a business. I like that. Personally, there is one aspect of Facebook that I love, but only one.

Now that most of my family is scattered across the country, Facebook is a good way to keep in touch and see what’s going on with those family members who I don’t get to see.  I absolutely love that I can be involved with my siblings, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles and even some very, close friends from years past. We had a close family, but as we grew up, and got older, life happened and there just wasn’t enough time to keep in touch. For a while, it seemed like the only time we were able to catch up was at a funeral, and that’s not a good thing! I seriously love that my mom get’s to feel like she’s a part of my granddaughter’s life and watch her grow through videos and pictures. I love that I get to see pictures of my nieces and nephews and feel like I’m a part of their life. That’s a blessing! So for me…this is why I am on Facebook.

But with that said, I hate that people post their whole life and drama on Facebook. Things that are totally inappropriate are posted, and thought of as no big deal. I have seen people get hurt by things that are said, or what they THINK people are saying. And then they react…causing even more pain.  Which leads to more drama….blah, blah, blah.  I’ve seen really long angry rants, with mean comments that go on for days (yes days)…and leave lasting, lifelong pain. And if you think your private messages are safe,…and, well, private,….think again, you may never know that someone you love has signed into your Facebook account and read your nasty rants about them. I say this to say…nothing that you post or put in writing on the internet is private it lasts forever and can cause lifelong pain.

So here’s a list of my top 10 recommendation regarding social media from someone who has kept social media and Facebook at an arm’s length, and have still learned some things the hard way.

  • Don’t post your whole drama on Facebook it really gives other’s something to gossip about….and they will gossip.
  • If you can’t say something nice…don’t say anything at all!  I learned that when I was a little girl from my mom. 🙂
  • It’s easy to misunderstand emotion that is coming from the another person when you read a comment, post, text message, email etc., etc. In fact, the emotion that you hear is your emotion in your head/heart and could have nothing to do with how it was meant when written. Yes, you may be right…or you may be wrong!
  • If someone has offended you by something they said, or you think they said, THINK before you react. I like to say…”Respond, don’t React! A good rule of thumb is to wait 24 hours to “think” about it before you say anything. THINK about if the comment or post was meant the way you are taking it…because more than likely it isn’t. THINK about putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and what other reason’s there could be for the post or comment. THINK about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it.
  • If you do decide to say something or to take offence, for heaven’s sake be an adult and get on the phone to ask if you misunderstood. Did you hear that one? ASK, don’t assume you are right because we all know what happens when you assume…so ask and ask nicely.
  • If you offend someone, apologize, clear the air, set the record straight and in a nice way, be sincere.
  • Did you know that you can block someone from seeing even one post or comment on Facebook from you? It’s like you don’t even have a Facebook! However, if you block them, you also will not be able to see them. They will not exist to you on Facebook! This really helps for those people who just thrive on drama….remember, it works both ways so if the “drama clean” (from the mouth of babes) is you??….well, you get the idea.
  • Don’t give your opinion on someone else’s life circumstance unless it is asked for, (unless it’s to encourage them) in other words, mind your own business. And with that said…
  • Don’t put your business out there if you don’t want someone to judge you…because they will. I know, it’s not right that they do…but they will.
  • Lastly, to leave on a positive note. Be encouraging and uplifting, be real (your real self because no one is a better you than you) and be happy. Post your happy thoughts, people love to hear and feel happy, they’ll love reading your posts

I’ve learned the ideas above either the hard way or by observing others on Facebook. I hope you find some encouragement and that they have saved you a drama or two.

Ephesians 4:29


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