Are you a trustworthy mom?…..Recently I had a conversation with another mom at the soccer field. We were just chatting and sharing stories about things our kids say and do, like moms do. We were having a good laugh at the slightly warped logic of the teenage mind. Teenagers use some amazing logic when trying to decipher right and wrong. She shared a cute story about a teenager calling his mom to ask permission to go somewhere. Mom didn’t answer the phone at the time, so in the “teenager logic” that meant that it was ok to go, because she didn’t answer the phone and say “no”. We laughed, but it was the next comments that got me thinking.
She shared that some of her son’s friends will not ask a particular mom to drop them off at church because she drops them “IN” the parking lot, and that means that they actually have to go to church, instead of the skate park across the street. You see, once a teen is dropped off on the church campus, the church security team is committed to keeping them there. The mom I was chatting with was aware that her teen was honest with her about going to church some times and leaving to go to the skate park at other times. However, the other boys were telling their parents that they were going to church for the teen service, but sometimes they were deciding to go to the skate park instead. She not only knew that they were lying, she laughed about the fact that they had figured out which mom NOT to ask for a ride.
I was immediately thankful that my girls love going to church and I’m secure that they are actually at church. Firstly because I trust them, secondly because they love Jesus, but also because they’ve never asked me to drop them anywhere but in the parking lot! No really, I am glad that they want to go to church and that I feel secure that they are safe there. It comforts me to know that there is a security team committed to getting the children of parents like me, to attend the church service that their parents believe they are attending.
I am positive that a parents don’t ask, don’t tell mentality is wrong and worse it encourages teens to deceive their parents. Would it bother you to find out that another parent knew your child lied to you and just ignored the situation, or worse actually contributed to the lie?
I think there should be a parent code of honor where we all stick together and help each other, even though our boundries may be different, we don’t just ignore a parents limits just because they are different than ours. I would feel betrayed to find out that another parent knew that my girls were crossing my boundries and was helping them to do that! I know it’s hard to encourage a teen to make good choices and talk with their parents to work out a situation or limits. In order to do that, we would actually have to make good choices ourselves, but that’s a whole other post in itself!
I’m glad that I take that “mom code of honor” seriously and that I’m a trusworthy mom! I just hope that the moms of my daughter’s friends are trustworthy too!
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.